In nearly every movie and prime time television show, you’ll see depicted a man and woman in bed together without being married; even living together for the purpose of having relations outside the bond of marriage. In fact, what we see in popular media is quickly becoming the norm of our society. This should be no surprise, however, for the apostle Paul warned, “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith . . . forbidding to marry” (1 Timothy 4:1a, 3a).
Many Christians will agree that marriage can be traced to Genesis 2:24, which says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Yet, in talking with so-called Christians who are cohabiting, I’ve heard a common misguided argument: “In the beginning, Adam and Eve weren’t married through a traditional wedding ceremony, or held to a legal binding contract. Their physical union was viewed by God as them being married. Therefore, living together is okay, because it’s like we’re already married in the eyes of God.”
Well, I propose that if they really believed they were married in the eyes of God, they wouldn’t switch partners so frequently. What you just heard is a lame excuse for a license to sin. Hal Lane of the “Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission” says, “Where do professing Christian couples find justification for living together without marriage? Their own desires and an immoral culture provide support, but God’s Word is neither vague nor confusing on this point: A personal commitment between a man and woman is not the moral equivalent of a biblical marriage.”
Jesus cited Genesis 2:24 when He referred to marriage as a permanent and unbreakable bond between a man and woman: “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4-6). In spite of what Jesus said, however, there are still some who want to form their own opinion about sex and marriage.
So, what does the Bible tell us elsewhere? Hal Lane elaborates, “When God revealed the law to Moses on Mount Sinai, there were many regulations regarding marriage. [For example], a man who seduced a virgin and had sexual relations with her before marriage was required to pay the father of the girl and was required to marry her if the father permitted.” He bases this observation on Exodus 22:16, which says, “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife.”
Lane continues to tell us, “Sexual relations with a virgin betrothed to another resulted in death by stoning of both parties.” He cites Deuteronomy 22:23-24a for this observation, which says, “If a young woman who is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones.” Lane adds, “These laws revealed the importance of marriage and the sin of premarital sex.”
Today, the Lord extends mercy to those who’ve committed sexual sin. For example, when the scribes and Pharisees brought before Jesus a woman caught in the act of adultery, Jesus replied, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” After hearing this, everyone departed one by one. Jesus then arose from where He was writing on the ground, and asked the woman, “Where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” When she replied, “No one, Lord,” Jesus then said, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more” (see John 8:1-11).
In Hebrews 13:4, we read, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Physical relations outside of marriage, which includes cohabitation, is defined as sin which will be dealt with by God; that is, unless we repent. Jesus didn’t just tell the woman caught in the act of adultery, “Neither do I condemn you” and leave it at that. He told her, “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11); or rather, “Turn away from what you’re doing, and head the other direction, never to return,” which is the definition of repentance.
“Go and sin no more” is what the Lord says to those who are cohabiting with a partner; and this is the message that we need to be communicating as Christians. We need not be afraid or ashamed to confront someone whom we know is living in sin, and tell them “The Lord loves you, but He doesn’t love your sin. However, He will to forgive you if you’ll just repent, turn from your sinful behavior, and sin no more.”